Guy in the rain!

For lonely people, rain is a chance to be touched. – Simon Van Booy

I saw this big guy perched at the top of the tree, all alone. He didn’t have anyone around him. No one from his feathers. He stood in rain adamantly, looking at a distance. May be he was there to wait for someone, may be he was mad at someone, may be he intended to punish himself or may be he was just alone. How many problems could a crow really have – food problem, relationship issues, territorial conflict- ??

I gazed at him, wondered what thoughts he may have about this world or his bird world. What could a crow possibly think about – a cozy dry place and something delicious to feed upon? I would never know.

How must be there society? All good probably just like everything else in nature. But, wait! There world is not isolated, it’s been contaminated by human desire and avidity. What this crow must think about his society? Pretty discriminatory – is all I can think. Take a moment and think about how most humans treat him and his kins. Now, think about sparrows, finches, parakeets and all the other birds that we adore – we shower love on them, we follow them, we feed them and we want them to be near us. And, with crows – not many like them, or feed them or want to be near them.

Could it be possible that our interference in their world changed the game for them?

Note: I, in no way intend to lower my affection towards other birds or animals. Little love harms no one – not even crows.

Crow’s Two Cents

There was a light drizzle in the afternoon today, I stepped out on the balcony and streched out my arms to feel the tiny drops falling from the sky. While I was enjoying the light showers, I noticed an unusual rustle in between the dense green branches of the mango tree. I stared at the shivering branches. A few moments later, out of the dense dark leaves came a horrified crow cawing loudly and flapping away for his life. As I began to wonder about why it was so worried, I saw a snake fall down from the tree. Crow must have realised the danger and flew off for life. I stood there feeling sorry for him.

All of us, at some point in our lives are in crow – snake situations. We are told to fight, to win and accept challenges. Yes, it’s all good as motivation but in life we don’t have to fight all the dangers, few are best escaped. Not all dangers are challenges and not all challenges are to be pursued. Not all battles are worth fighting for, so you choose your battles wisely.

And, what you choose to fight for, never back down!

Fulfillment

Until a few months back if someone had asked me what would make me really happy – my stereotypical answer with certitude would have been around my success at work or a purchase of a bigger house or world travel.

Having spent the last four months at home, adapting to a simple lifestyle with no shopping, parties, restaurants, travel and even office, definition of the recipe of happiness has changed.

Things which were invisible earlier in the rush of time, seemed to start appearing vividly. Eyes got aquainted to empty roads and ears to silence. The silence was broken only by light whispers of nature – through birds, trees, wind, thunderstorm and bees.

Sparrows perched at my kitchen window

Beautiful dragonfly

The way one needs to lower the noise of thoughts to hear the inner voice, in the same way, the silence and softness around me has drawn me close to the earlier unseen and unfelt. I was so submerged in my chaos that the conspicuous hid right at plain sight.

I have learnt to appreciate the silence which has brought me closer to the little things in life and these little things have begun to derive happiness for me.

Little things: A moth

Have you ever felt melancholy with your spirit struggling to look up and out of the blue a small thing, gesture or something miniscule that on a jaunty day would barely catch your eye, suddenly wakes up your spirit and brings a smile to your face?

Something like this happened to me when I saw this beautiful moth. It’s called rose-myrtle lappet moth. I’d never seen such a beautiful moth in my life and its bright green colour filled me with exuberance.

There’s something about little things – when they happen, they bring smiles.

Imagine living a life waiting for the big moments to happen.

Lights – some guide, some blind

A long while ago, in a dreamlike world someone asked a young girl – “what she wanted to become when she grows up?” She said, “an astronaut”. She liked the sound of the word astronaut – it had a sophisticated vibe and was mystical.

A few summers passed, she grew up and moved from her modest town to a city of towering sky scrapers. She was awestruck with the bright lights and the speed of the city that enthralled her young heart. She knew she had to do something there, something exciting to keep up with the fast pace of life around her. Her astronaut dream was long forgotten and was dulled by the ever lit city. Straining her neck, her eyes would keep gazing at the magnolious buildings of shiny glass and enticing lights.
The longer she stayed in the city, the stronger her determination grew to savour preeminent success in the shimmery city.

Industrious and determined, she joined a top consulting firm after graduating from an Ivy league school. The flame of ambition was shining bright within her and she ascended the ladder quicker than others and it gave her happiness parallel to none. She was living her dream in her ever twinkling city. Could she ask for more? Perhaps.

Success is analogical to climbing a ladder or a mountain – whoever is successful, keeps climbing up the ladder or the mountain. Isn’t it what we’ve heard always! Why up?

So much was up there, she was successful but is success satisfying? There was so much more to scale to and she was inebriated with success, wanting for some more. She leapt up the levels in the hierarchy. She worked hard for what she deserved and fought for what she wanted. Why wouldn’t one after all the hardwork?

From a little girl to a young hopeful fiesty woman, she had felt the transformation of her ambitions and heart. She relentlessly chased her insatiable dreams.

Today, standing at her tower of success on the top floor of the tallest sky scraper in her city, she looks down as she smiles at destiny. A few moments pass and she keeps staring at the city around her. Slowly the arch of smile disappears from her face, involuntarily her thoughts drift from her success in this very moment to her life after she left her small town. All these years, she worked tremendously to get where she is, but was it all worth it? Did she miss anything on the way? – She wondered.

“Anyway, isn’t everything better with success?”, she questioned as she looked at a girl a few floors down in the building in front of her. She noticed that this girl struggled at her work and didn’t appear confident. She thought to herself, “she is not reaching very far up there”. Momentarily, she bounced back to her feat story – her thoughts glistened her eyes.

Some time passed, she took her heels off, flexed her toes and gently sat on the floor. Tepid city breeze was blowing her hair gently, her mind went back to the girl in the other building – would she be happy? Would she ever be as successful as I am? Does she even want that success? Her mind oscillated back to her own life – “Did I want it? Of course, I did! Am I happy today? Of course, I am! I chased my dreams my whole life, I accomplished them”. She paused and muttered, “I chased”.

She realised that she was so focused and fixated on one thing in her life that she forgot living her life. She had friends, however no time to spend with them. She had a huge house, but it was yet to become a home.

At times, we get so drowned in the fallacies of the fancy that we miss living our life. We are chasing out dreams and forget to live life.

While this world was created by God, the norms have been handcrafted by humans. Don’t fall for the so called rules of the world.

Is the desire of wealth and power so great that it blinds us forever?

Is it worth living your life for designations in the material world?

Is it possible to find happiness without pursuing what’s served on the platter?

Do we want to wake up oneday in the middle of our life, only to realise that we wasted our time?

Do we want to spend more than required time on something that may seem miniscule in the long journey?

Are our accomplishments qualifiable only as per the world?

Can we make our own worlds and seek happiness within?

If there were millions of happy worlds within this planet, wouldn’t that be a happy world!

The struggle is real!

It’s been three months of staying indoors. Apart from working from home, I engaged myself in cooking, blogging, photography, gardening, baking and most recently in painting. Initially I thoroughly enjoyed staying at home, getting up peacefully every morning, connecting with nature, relishing every second of my day and admiring the dusk with gratitude. Even this tribulation had one bright side or so I thought.

A few weeks back, I was telling my husband about how the need for psychiatrists will soar post Covid – I was thinking mostly about the medical practitioners at that time and the amount of psychological burden they have on themselves when in the world we have an overflow of patients, a shortage of hospitals and incessantly working healthcare professionals.

As days have passed, I have come to realise that not just doctors or essential service providers will need help around their mental health, but common people staying at home, working from home, young kids who are studying online with no friends to meet or play with and old people who are scared and won’t go out because of the fear of catching Covid – will all need help.

Off late, I noticed that if a sad thought passes through my mind, it bounces between the walls of my house and doesn’t leave. This energy doesn’t dissipate, it just transfers from my living room to kitchen or to my bedroom. Why is it happenings ? Is it my need to be social ? Or is my mind too tired to live in the box? Am I craving a change of scenery? I am happy home, but for how long?

I have started feeling it within – some blues, a little bit of voidness and have suddenly been drawn to my mental health. I am sure, there are others as well who may be feeling like me – unnecessarily stressed and low.

You are not alone – these are difficult times which will pass. I tell myself the same thing everyday. Breathe to take in all the positivity and hug your loved ones so tightly that negative is crushed. In these unprecedented times, let’s kick the hell out of negativity.

No matter how dark it may seem, a new dawn would break soon.

Hope

A loud gust shrilled in my ear,
Sharply the eyes looked at fear,
Soaked in pain, with no speck of light,
Deep rumbles with sparks in night.

Alone somewhere deep hope strives,
A little beam of rainbow reckons the wise,
The greys sorround, sorrows seem eternal,
Hands join to the One who shows the light.

Thunder will be tamed and storms would calm,
Hold your breath and see His charm,
The greys will soon ooze a different hue,
Pink will be the sky and life will be new.

The pink sky of the wishes fulfilled,
Breathing dawn into the broken dreams,
Carried a stone and the mountain moved,
With zephyr, the soul will be soothed.

A fleeting thought..

Mind makes noise and heart listens.

Mind keeps thinking, working the machinery, constantly finding ways to deal and respond. While our heart, it listens as if, with closed eyes and focuses on the feeling. It feels the warmth and the cold.

Heart goes by the vibe and mind with the logic.

No wonder, we are mostly on crossroads between the two.

Those days!

Green grass, blue sky,

Sometimes swim, sometime fly.

Caressing the flowers gently,

Strutting ahead rollicking.

Sliding through the squeaky floor,

Into a packed elevator.

Nonchalant and busy,

No sign of tizzy

Bouncing through the crowd,

A little brush up, a light push,

Sauntering through the narrow streets,

With nothing much to lose.

Petting animals in utter randomness,

Playing with one into oblivion,

Smiling to folks unknown,

And obliging to penniless.

Sitting on a bench,

With people strolling by;

Holding a hand to thank,

Hugging with a loud smile.

Sharing a ride with strangers,

Or trying the clothes from the same hanger;

Passing the half-burnt cigarette,

Or clinking to cheers together.

Gone are those days,

We’ve learnt to smile through gaze,

Masks cover our face,

And homes are our only place.

Hoping for new days,

When homes will be for where we laze,

Not abstaining from someone coming close,

Not waiting for someone to make a dose.

Let’s get over with this phase,

Let’s get back those days!!

Haiku: A girl’s freedom

Don’t give me your freedom.

I will have what’s mine. Don’t give!

For it’s mine, not yours.